Signing up to NCS, I had high hopes. It seemed like it would be a lot of fun, and it still does, in most ways. The first issue was my slow realisation that none of my friends, nor anyone in my year, was doing it at the same time as I was. “Oh well, it’ll be a grand opportunity to make new friends!” I thought to myself optimistically. My mother assured me that everyone would be in the same position as me, so I remained this optimistic approach.

The day came for the first “keep warm” event. We were told do wear tracksuit bottoms and comfortable clothes, so there I was, rolling up in the car, ready to meet equally awkward individuals, when as soon as I see everyone, the first harsh truth hit. Everyone was wearing decent clothes, and I was there in my shittiest outfit possible. After getting a label with my name on it, I saw groups of people. Groups. Not individuals. Luckily, however, there did in fact happen to be one girl from my year who was there, so I was quite happy with that. She had made friends with another girl, and I spoke to them and hung about with them for the first part of the day. Turned out that almost everyone was from a certain school.

Things only got more shitty as the day progressed; the NCS people were trying to come up with games for us to play to get to know each other. The most painfully awkward of all of these, was a game where we had to make sculptures using ourselves. This involved making a human pyramid. Three lads went on the bottom, and there were a few people left on our team to make the pyramid, myself included. The leader looked around for the two skinniest people, and I was among the two selected. I climbed onto their backs and we made a pyramid. Just when I thought things couldn’t get any more awkward, the next game was group charades. The leader chose that we should be a zoo, so we had to pretend to be animals. Next, we were on a roller coaster. Sadly I didn’t get the memo that we were on the Smiler because half of us went a totally different fucking direction.

Lunch came and we got put in tents. I decided to follow two lads who seemed equally awkward as me, and they weren’t playing football. I hit them with two of my darkest jokes, one of them being incredibly dark, especially at the time, which you can see on r/darkhumour by Boshmash. At the end of that, I had made friends with them, mainly one.

After that had happened, the day improved and was much less awkward, and we did rounders (I was shit),  Zorb football (I charged at my new friend instantly), and some random ass inflatable things (it began to rain a shit ton).

Overall, it was rather the positive experience.

Fast forward to today, the day of the second, and final “keep warm” event. We were doing bowling. I turned up and was hoping to see my new friend. I didn’t. Two people from that friend group were there; a couple who seemed to prefer keeping themselves to themselves. I sat in the middle of two groups, and didn’t speak much at all for the rest of the time there- apart from the things which I did say which weren’t loud enough for anyone but me to hear.

I don’t think anyone has ever looked so depressed and awkward whilst listening to “Sweet Caroline” on that day. So there I was, like a Palestinian turned up to a fucking Israeli tea party. All in all, it was shit.

Thank you for reading this, sorry I haven’t made a post in a while!


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