You know what people piss me off? Exam invigilators.

Obviously, one reason why I don’t like them is because I associate them with exams- which are shit.

Another thing which annoys me: their clothes. Why? Well, many of them wear casual clothes because it is supposed to make us feel comfortable. How the fuck I am supposed to feel comfortable when there is a man wearing a battered tracksuit, presumably on offer from Sports Direct, with the “well-known” brand ‘fadidas’ on them? Exactly.

Another thing which I despise about them is how they are totally unreliable. Usually, they stand around, ears pricked, waiting for a piece of apparatus to fall onto the floor like vultures descending upon a carcass. However, what has happened to me before is this: I reach for my water bottle, my elbow slamming my protractor of my desk, sending it flying halfway to fucking Australia. I glance at the invigilator, attempting to get their attention, but no; they stand there with their eyes glazing over, glancing at the clock as a constant reminder of my time diminishing. Clearly, this invigilator has no idea what they are doing, so I take matters into my own hands: leaning off my chair, I reach out to grab the protractor, my fingers almost reaching it, but at the same time, somebody’s shoe. What does the invigilator do? That’s right, they happily trot over to me in their squeaky trainers, all the while giving me a horrendously brutal stare. They shoo my hand away, pick up the protractor, and spin their heads around like bloody Regan MacNeil, looking down at me in a patronizing manner as they say: “Next time, tell me

Fuck off, I tried alerting you as best as I could (being too awkward to put my hand up for someone to pick something up for me), so how about this, next time you do your laundry, feel free to have a little taste of bleach.

Thanks for reading! 🙂


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